My mind spins around and around. I can't stop thinking of anything, everything. Bikes, people, money, work, school, things, netflix shows. It's all swirling around like an anxious mess. I try to breathe through it and turn it off, but there is only temporary relief. I attempt to praise myself for trying, but the feelings dissipates quickly and the building swirl resumes. It this anxiety?
I wonder what the meaning of anxiety really is. We talk about how more people are anxious these days. If it's normal, then can you really diagnose the majority? Isn't diagnosis for outliers? Am I normal?
I fight thoughts that tell me I'm a bad person, incapable, unwell, broken, unlikable. I know they aren't true, but they feel so real.
I try to sleep, but I'm uncomfortable.
I wake up to swirling thoughts.
Swirling thoughts are drowning me.
I have all these suggestions of ways that I have failed to manage them through past actions and choices. It only encourages them to grow louder.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Play music?
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