Reflecting on the Senses

It can be uncomfortable to engage in the senses of the body sometimes, living in my mind feels somewhat safe and in control. When I go into the senses the outside world feels like it has more control over me and I don't know what to expects. I enjoy the senses, they bring much pleasure, but so does the mind. New insights or pathways to solutions or new ways of thinking. It's delightful a.f. I know that the senses are an important part of living, my thoughts tell me so, but part of me also convinces me that they are less important and less worth exploring. There are multiple voices in my head arguing between sensation and cognition. I recently heard that there is a heart brain and a stomach brain, it reminded me of the concept of chakras and alignment. That we could potentially check in with all of them as we move through our lives. I feel like the world is most conducive to my head brain, but when I use all my senses to navigate the world I think, but I'm not sure, that I feel more joy, more contentment, more satisfaction and more. I wonder if it's just a 'grass is greener' story or if it's true? I have a lot of stories that prevent me from feeling like I'm living my life to the fullest. It feels like contentment is mostly out of reach. I feel like self-improvement is a state of being. I feel like I'm just waiting for a partner sometimes and I don't really like that.

I've been having a friend stay with me for the past week and the sense of companionship has brought out my silly side, it's brought out my playful side, it's brought out the side of me that loves to be alone and feels annoyed at this interruption, it has allowed me to relax in new ways to have someone else around, it's made me eat meals more consistently. It's mostly brought pleasant emotions and in it's wake some fear of returning to being alone again. I know that I'm not alone, but it's nice to have a bed companion sometimes. Maybe I'll have more sleepovers, but it feels like Covid prevents that. But if Covid weren't a factor, it feels like I'm not supposed to have sleepovers because I'm an adult. It feels impractical and most people want the comfort of their own bed. I think that's the difference between listening to the brain and ignoring the body.

The brain is very practical. Silly, funny, playful...these are not cognitive activities. They are sensory, they come from the heart and potentially the stomach. Doing various accents and improvising lyrics are not cognitive, actually cognition plays a role, but it involves the other brains too. I'm sad to say goodbye to my friend, but I celebrate the week we spent as companions. I recognize that the circumstances cannot be created, as they are that she is in between residences at this time. So it's a delight to celebrate visitors.

Visitors from past lives, and past phases of our lives. From times where we were pursuing other dreams, still relevant in some way. We are never different, just different interpretations of ourselves. We were always ourselves. As I transition back to being alone, I want to remember the silly/playful me and know that she is always here, waiting for inspiration.