Sometimes I'm tired of my mind. I've started slipping back into that mentality that if I only meditated more often then everything would better. I can't tell if it's true or not. I find playing music quite meditative as well as riding bikes, but I still feel like I'm struggling. Effort. Struggle. This is a difficult moment. Only the moment because there was a moment that I wasn't struggling in and I missed it, it passed me by and I was busy remembering the hard moment before it so I got stuck in a loop.
So in this new refreshing moment I am calm, I am well, I am peaceful. I am well liked. I am well loved. I am SEXY! I am sexual and free. I fit in. I love the things I do: my job, my house, my hobbies. I'm surrounded by care and it exists within my mind as well. My mind is constantly thinking of new ways to care for me and to bring me joy and love.
It's true. Both of these paragraphs are snapshots of my mind.
What really boggles me is the many facets of existence and the elusiveness of it's creator. I want to believe and have faith, to dedicate my life....my very life to something, anything, everything? I want a meditative peaceful state just knowing. Literally being. I think that's the ultimate service to our creator. Being in each moment experiencing the depths of pleasure and pain and vulgarity of life.
The message that continues to flash through my head over and over is that the mundane is the greater part of the entirety of our experience. It is the mundane that we miss when someone is gone. It is the mundane of our routines that we grieve in the face of novelty. M U N D A NE
Why is this my message lately? What? What do you want from me Goddess?
